


Childhood Pictures

by LyingLion



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Childhood Memories, Family, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, May Feels, May does not hate Tony, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 05:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16927245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyingLion/pseuds/LyingLion
Summary: Photos are glimpses into the past.They trigger your memories.And memories can be so bitter-sweet.Once more Tony is in the Parker apartment, it has become some kind of custom.May and Tony sit together, so why couldn't it just be like the first time they were here on the couch?





	Childhood Pictures

The room was too empty, the air too cold. Tony stepped over the threshold. The sun had already been setting when he got out of his car and now the last dying rays crept through the window, only touching a small part of the apartment. He took in a breath trying to steady his hammering heartbeat.

He wasn’t sure if this routine was healthy for him.

They had sat down on the couch, drinks standing on the coffee table. Whiskey and wine.  
They were both past judging each other, some days it was just needed. For Tony more often than her. May was more reserved, she only joined in with his destructive tendencies on some occasions. Tony respected her for that and it was probably the only reason he hadn’t yet completely given in to his old habits.

“I wanted to show you something, I found it earlier today.”

May stood up, uncertainty in every little movement.

She returned with a box.

Hesitantly the top was removed.

**Photos.**

 

* * *

 

 

Pieces of paper and stories of a life were handed to Tony one after the other and the pile beside him grew.

Years jumped back and forth and his mind for once couldn’t quite keep up with all the information, always being one step behind, always dwelling for too long.  
Each of the captured moments were a glimpse in a past he hadn’t shared because the day that a new life here in Queens was born he had probably been partying and 8 years later he was stuck in a cave, working on something that would change a lot of things forever while that kid happily played with Legos in the living room, both of them painfully unaware of the future to come.  
Unaware of this present where Tony and May sat yet again on the same sofa, they had sat on 2 years ago, when he first walked into this apartment.  
Back then they were talking, waiting for the sound of the door unlocking and footsteps that were soon to been drowned out by a young enthusiastic voice.

Tony found himself in the past and for just a split-second hope washed over him with such intensity that he knew the door would open again in an instance.  
That was before reality rushed back, leaving him feeling sick.

He downed the rest of his drink.

 

“This one was one of his favorites, you know. He was so excited that day. He had been so obsessed with Ironman”, Tony shifted, “and when the Stark Expo was announced to be held again, nonetheless in Queens of all places –“, May chuckled at the photo, but her eyes were unfocused, looking somewhere else entirely. Memories acting as windows to yesterdays.

“He just kept on talking the whole way till we got there and then he just – he just cried.”  
Her voice wavered and when Tony looked at her, in a way she seemed to have copied the little kid from back then, with a smile on her face and tears on her cheeks.

“It took us a bit until he had calmed down again, then we could finally enter the Expo. And you know, we walked around for a bit, got something to drink and all that. And then he found this shop that sold these Ironman masks, helmets, I don’t know.  
His whole face lit up and he looked at me and next thing I knew he was running around shooting at imaginary bad guys. Ben had tinkered with some gloves and LED lights, so they’d look like your repulsers.”

Tony reached to grab his drink again, only then realizing it was already finished, so he just swallowed and put his hand back, rubbing his wrist unconsciously.

 

“And then- “she took in a deep breath. “And then the drones- the attack started, and people panicked, we – I lost him in the crowd, we were just pushed back and he was- “  
Another deep breath. “When I finally reached him I – there was one of those drones and he just stood there, and I think I screamed at him to run, but he just raised his tiny hand like he has seen you do all the time and – God. I thought that’s it, you know. This is where I lose him.  
But I didn’t... You probably don’t remember, but you landed right behind him and you fired that shot.”

May turned her head towards him again, fresh tears ran down her face and she looked at him with so much gratitude. His mind went blank, there were no words for him to think in this moment much less say.

“You saved him.”

  
His eyes drifted from her eyes, unable to handle it any longer.

 

The photograph was now tilted in a way that he could see it too.

A boy standing in front of a plastic Ironman statue, mimicking the stance. Arms raised repulsors glowing. A perfect copy of the story.

And it set of a tiny flash of recognition. In the deepest corner of his mind he remembered the little boy standing in front of the huge drone.  
Both of them ready to shoot. One with a loaded machine gun, the other with nothing more than light imbedded in fabric.

  
He had saved him. He had saved him back then.  
A pleading voice ghosted through his thoughts. _‘Please’_  
Back then.  
But now –  
_‘Mr. Stark, please…’_

  
In the next moment he was on his feet. “I-I have to go now, I’ll come back...tomorrow.”  
He couldn’t do this.  
May clearly wasn’t finished, she wanted to speak more, let the memories flow out of her head, let them twirl around the room, but Tony had to leave, her words had wrapped themselves around his neck and he was struggling to breath.

She must have seen something in his eyes or in the way his body had tensed, trying to hold him together and keep the barrier of hollowness just a little longer from crumbling, almost as if his muscles had any influence on it,  
because she just nodded in his direction, standing up as well.

Tony had trouble getting his jacket from the chair. It wasn’t that he couldn’t take it off the back of it, where he had hung it before. No, even if his hands were shaking, the piece of clothing had come of rather easily.  
It had more to do with everything else, each move seemed like a huge task and he felt the guilt of leaving May alone again clawing at him.

He took one step after the other. He watched his feet take him to the spot between May and the open door.

He had to look up and say his goodbyes, so he did. Their eyes met and there was an understanding with an unspoken apology on both sides, but no amount of understanding could help either of them.

They were just two people trying to fix each other’s wreckage while helplessly stumbling around and knocking over poorly covered boxes.  
Boxes they had just sorted yesterday.  
Boxes they both hoped to have been finally sealed off.  
But they still kept coming back to each other, because even if the other may accidentally uncover some content better left alone, it was still better to stand together in the rubble.  
It was better to look together at all that has crumbled.

“I…”  
May shook her head.  
“I’ll see you again?”  
“Yeah.”  
“…”  
“…”

  
Tony turned towards the door and stepped trough.  
Behind him the lock clicked.  
He still held his breath.

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is, I just got the idea at some point and it left me dying on the inside.  
> I just hated the thought of May telling Tony of Peter's childhood, showing him pictures of the boy.  
> The thought didn't leave me, but I didn't write it for a long time because I felt like I could never portray the pain. :'D
> 
> But then I did, I tried my best, and if my words do not leave you with the ache I felt, then maybe just the concept itself.
> 
> Thank you for reading
> 
> (My best luck to all of us, so that we may survive Avengers: Endgame.)


End file.
